Their Rock
by AznFlipChyld
Summary: Duo Angst. He was always there, there for them. He did what the others could not. Save their humanity, even if he didn't have his own.


WAI!!!!! my first post! hai, it is slightly, erm, dark,angstish, etc. But anyway, read and review~!  
  
I don't own Gundam Wing, or Duo, well, I do own Posters, plushies, and models of him, but i don't own HIM, so you CAN'T SUE ME!!! ::cackles darkly::  
  
  
  
  
  
/Empty.  
Soulless.  
Useless.  
Weak./  
  
/Unloved.  
Unwanted.  
Not cared for.  
Just there./  
  
The words pounded in his head as he stared at the black wall blankly. There was nothing in his gaze. There was nothing there. No pain. No tears. No emotions shone in the ameayst eyes. He lay still as a rock, a random breeze blowing in through the window, ruffling his braid as he contemplated his existance.  
  
Shinigami. The jokester, the jester. The careless, baka. The weak, useless American Pilot. That was who he was. He knew somewhere in his mind that he had embraced the mask. And that somewhere he had justified that fact. Knowing that he had been so close to reexperiencing happiness. That he had been close to slipping out of the restrictive black that he had enshrouded himself in. He had been so close to being able to smile truely again.  
  
But then the pain was reintroduced.  
  
Trowa he understood. He, Duo, wanted no one to become him. And while Trowa was pretty damn close, he wasn't quite there. Ironically, the tall pilot was the one closest to him. Possibly because of the unconditional support the braided pilot had offered him. 'Shinigami' had held him as he cried, helped him without judgement, and even brought about his first laugh until he realized his feelings for Quatre.   
  
Speaking of Quatre, none of this was the blond's fault. He wanted to get that out before anything else happened. Quatre was quatre. The heart of the gundam team. The blond pilot had always tried to be there for the others. And if Duo had not looked into the blond's background, he wouldn't have thought that the blond had ever gone through the self disgust he had gone through early in life. But the blond proved him wrong. And so Duo had looked for a time when the Desert Prince needed to let out his own fears. And he found it. Right after the 'Zero instance' as he called it. Quatre had fallen asleep each night after a long talk, and some laughs with Duo. Until the two had found Trowa for him.  
  
There was also Wufei. Duo hadn't been surprised when he read about the chinese man's early marriage. It was rather common in the dragon clan for them to have their children married while they were young. But the fact that his wife had been a warrior and he a scholar almost did. But he didn't quite feel it. Instead, he forced the man of justice to confess her death to him. And once again became a team mates rock.  
  
Then there was Heero. If Duo could feel any emotion towards the 'Perfect Soldier', it would be hatred. The bastard came to him proclaiming his 'love' then taking him every night he could. But, as Duo felt the kid loving ly touch him, moaning as he forced himself back, then slowly bring him to the brink of ecstasy, his own fake moans driving 'Perfect Soldier' on, one feeling, if it could be a feeling was what he saw. Pity. Pity for the 'perfect soldier', pity for the boy who was fighting tooth, claw, and nail to keep his humanity. Even if it meant using his bestfriend.  
  
But that was ok. After all, he was their rock.  
  
Trowa's comfort.  
Quatre's confidant, shrink if you will.  
Heero's passion.  
Wufei's loss.  
Their humanity.  
  
So he did it. He did it for them. He became the smiling jester for them. God knows they needed it. If Trowa didn't have someone who made, then kept that small spark of humor alive, Quatre didn't have someone to help burden his problems and help him waste his excess energy, his teasing and prodding an outlet for the samurai, and if Heero didn't have someone willing to do anything for others, then they would lose their humanity as well.  
  
And he didn't want anyone to become like himself. He had lost it already. He had lost it a long time ago. He had lost it with Solo. The Sister Helen. Father Maxwell. He lived now only to help those who had come to depend on his souless shell.  
  
01, Heero.  
04, Quatre.  
03, Trowa.  
05, Wufei.  
Hilde, Sally, Noin, Dorothy.  
And almost just as much as the pilots, Relena. The queen of the world needed someone to keep her smiling. To keep her compassion for humanity alive.  
  
And with her, and his various 'lower class friends' he knew that he was the rock, the stability of, god knew how many people.  
  
Everyone came to him after all. When they needed someone who didn't judge. Or when they needed someone to help them laugh. He was always there for them.  
  
But once they forgot. Or once they were gone. Then he would no longer be needed.  
  
And it wouldn't be long 'till then.  
  
The former queen could depend on Hilde for her smile, and Dorothy for unspoken advice. She could depend on those two for unconditional support and love. Quatre and Trowa had found solace in each other. Likewise with Une,and Sally, Noin, and Milliardo. And the perfect soldier, well they had had a 'mutual breakup.' Fueled by the 'subtle' glances Wufei and Heero were giving each other. Yes. Soon there would be no more need for the smiling jester. Soon everyone would have a new pillar of stability.  
  
He couldn't wait for that time. What he would do then wasn't a question. He had already 'dissappeared', numerous times. It was no longer a surprise if the pilots came to an old address, or a room that he had been staying at, to find him gone. The others had always tracked him down soon afterwards, especially if he was needed, so then. When his work at guaranting humanity was finished. Then he'd just have to 'dissappear' again. 


End file.
